Princess Maker 2 - An Introduction.

I kind of want to wait for Jamie before getting fully into the game, but I'm not sure when she'll be done moving and will have full internet access again and stuff. Meanwhile, let me introduce you to the game, in case you have not read the Wikipedia article I linked to my last post.

Princess Maker 2 is a game that was produced by Gainax, the same company that gave us such gems as Neon Genesis Evangelion. As the name indicates, it's the second in the series. I've never played the other Princess Maker games, personally. Maybe I will someday.

The game is pretty much a raising-sim; you're a hero who saved the world from evil, and you're given a 10 years old daughter by the gods. Your goal is to raise her to adulthood and watch her (hopefully) become a princess. The best ending of the game has her actually becoming the Queen, or marrying the Prince, but it depends on many things you may or may not have done while raising her. Heck, she can even marry you, her father, if the conditions are right. She can also become the ruler of Hell if you make her go on the evil path.

If you know me, I'm sure you've already assumed that this will go horribly, horribly wrong for this poor little girl. Trust me, it most likely will. I'm not going to aim for any particular ending, so we'll see what will become of her.

I also decided that for this playthrough, I'm actually going to be her mother. For the lulz. Not unlike the real world, I'm constantly confused for a man due to my gender-neutral name, it seems. Either that, or everyone in the kingdom is blind and hasn't noticed I have a massive pair of breasts.

Now, let's go through the game's introduction. When you select "New Game", you are greeted by a series of screens before you dive into the opening cinematics.



First, you enter your family name. Apparently, you don't have a first name. Deal with it.



Next comes the name of your daughter. For the records, I'm using the name Jamie suggested on AIM, because we're immature and it was full of lol. You'll see what horrible name I've chosen for my daughter, and you'll probably feel like clobbering me for what is the start of my terrible parenting.



Your daughter also has a birthday. You will always be prompted to buy her a present when her birthday comes up. Her birth date will affect her starting skills, which we can safely ignore, and her patron deity. June 6th was chosen.



Next, you need to tell the game how old you are. I've decided to use my real age.



Your birthday as well. Unless you have a really good father-daughter (or, in my case, mother-daughter) relationship, don't expect it to be remembered. Just so you know...

I've also used my real birthday.



Finally, your daughter's blood type, because the Japanese think your personality is based on it. She may not be my daughter by blood, but I decided to give her the same bloodtype as me. I predict disasters. A lot of them.

Then, we get into the game's introduction. I have too many screenshots for this one, so I'll just transcribe the text below, with a few images here and there. All text in italics are part of the actual introduction (but I've took the liberty of changing all the male words and pronouns and stuff referring to the hero to female ones). Normal text will be used for my commentaries.

There once was a city in the world of mortals.
Its king was proud of his position, and its people were arrogant about their wealth.
Its rulers made light of the gods and ceased to worship them.
It's people sank into debauchery and sloth.
The Lord became angry and summoned the Prince of Darkness, ruler of the Underworld.
Accepting the Lord's will, he attacked the world of mortals



It was a one-sided war...
The soldiers of the capital, grown accustomed to peace, fell helplessly before the powerful Demon Army.
The ramparts were destroyed, and the castle was engulfed in flames. It was clear to all that the fall of the castle town was at hand.



Seeing the plight of the capital, the wandering swordswoman Abyrae threw herself into battle against the Prince of Darkness.
One dark night, Abyrae stole into the demons' encampment, and defeated the Prince of Darkness in personal combat.

"You have beaten me. But why are you fighting for these people? It has been divinely ordained that I attack this decadent capital. It is no concern of yours. I killed only fools."

Abyrae didn't know how to respond.

Actually, that's not quite true...



Suddenly, the Prince of Darkness disappeared along with his army, returning to the Underworld to recover from his defeat.



"Brave warrior. You have saved the capital. It was I who foolishly brought this war upon us. It was divine punishment for my decadence. If you had not appeared, the people of the city would have surely perished along with me..."

"It was my fault as well. The king and I have resolved to make a fresh start. We will work together to restore the capital."


"You appear to have been wounded. Why don't you stay in the capital, and help us to rebuild? We beseech you."
And thus Abyrae came to live in the capital, and to be granted a salary by the king.

6 . 9 . 1209 K.D.



One night, when the stars were shining brilliantly in the heavens, Abyrae felt somehow drawn to go outside...
"Abyrae..."
A voice called out to Abyrae from the heavens...
As she lifted her head, she spotted a shooting star. Before her eyes, it slowly descended to the top of a nearby hill.
She ran to the hill.
There she found a floating sphere which was shining brightly.



Then, she noticed that inside the light there was a little girl...

Naked girl! Quick, hide the loli before Pedobear arrives!

"Abyrae... I am this girl's guardian, Mercury... This darling child has lived in the sacred light since the time she was born. she has an innocent soul, and knows nothing of the impure world of mortals."


But why is she naked? Don't you guys have child-sized clothes in heaveHOLYCRAP! DON'T GIVE ME A CLOSE UP! GAH!!!



"Now, I entrust you with this child. Your actions alone will determine whether she will live or die, and what kind of life she will lead. It is all up to you. That is all I have to ask. I will be watching from the heavens..."


Okay, if you gods up there watch us mortals, explain to me how you have failed to notice that entrusting a child to an immature, irresponsible, foul-mouthed 20-something with a bad temper is a bad idea? You guys are either mad, or you're all a bunch of sadistic bastards. It's just a joke, right? RIGHT!?

A year passes...

Fuck! Looks like they were serious...



And that's how the brave warrior Abyrae saved the world and gained a daughter.



This will end in tears, I can feel it.

Next time, on 'Rae Does Video Games: you meet the lovable daughter and get an explanation about things that can be done to raise her.